Sand in the Gears

Sand in the Gears:

"Finally, I saw this sign in the cafeteria in my building: 'Satisfaction Guarantee: If you aren't 100% satisfied, please speak to a manager.' So let me get this straight: if I'm not 100 percent satisfied, then the 'guarantee' is that I can speak to a manager? Who needs a guarantee for that? If I really want to talk to the manager, I can jump up on a table and pee in the wax geraniums. Now that's guaranteed to draw a manager."